8 Ways to Reduce Fights Between Your Children


For a variety of causes, children fight with one another. It may be tough for parents and caregivers to know when to let things run their course and when to interfere and take action. Children, particularly siblings, might quarrel for the simplest of reasons, yet it can build or break friendships in the eyes of young children. While having disputes is a normal part of childhood development, there are things parents and caregivers can do to help children argue less or not at all.

Be Calm Under Pressure

When adults are angry, disagree with something, or are insulted, children see how they react and act. Being cool under pressure and displaying self-control is a good example to follow. Adults should discuss with children about times when they were angry or enraged, as well as the methods they used to calm down.


Keep Kids Busy

Boredom is a common cause of children fighting. Kids are less prone to quarrel when they are actively engaged in autonomous play activities. And autonomous activities teach children how to deal with a problem (such as boredom) without seeking help from a parent. And it is this lesson that they must learn in order to cease fighting.

While TV can keep youngsters occupied, too much of it can lead to increased fighting, not just because it is frequently the object of fights, but also because it is not an active kind of play.


Don’t Get Involved in the Battle

When a parent enters the fray, it sends the message to children that bickering and complaining will end the issue quickly. As a result, when children argue, avoid taking sides. Challenge the students to work together to come up with a fair answer. Returning the ball to them signals that they are expected to contribute to the solution.

However, if the conflict worsens, parents may need to intervene. If you feel compelled to interfere, do it quickly and decisively. Find a middle ground or separate the children, either by command (“Everyone to their rooms.”) or cajoling (“Suzy, come play in my room.”) Do not become engrossed in the discussion. Leave the debate on the problems until a time when tempers are calmer.

Break the Bickering Cycle

Bickering is reactive by nature. If you step in, the kids will respond to each other first, then to you. You must be proactive rather than reactive to end the pattern. When the kids aren’t fighting, take steps to prevent squabbling.

No one listens while they’re in the middle of a quarrel. Whatever you say as a parent, your children will most certainly believe you are side with someone else. Wait till the youngsters’ brains have cooled before reminding (or establishing) ground rules. Make a point of emphasizing compassion and teaching youngsters how to compromise. In the long term, sticking to this proactive strategy will minimize the number of disputes amongst children.

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Find the Underlying Source of the Problem

While boredom and a need for attention are two of the most prevalent causes for fighting, there are many others. It might be anything as complex as underlying sibling rivalry or something as basic as hunger. Bickering is sometimes just a method for youngsters to let off steam. The best approach to address the arguments is to figure out what’s causing them in the first place.

Treat Everyone the Same

Trying to figure out who began the conflict, who said what, and then what led the problem to escalate is the easiest trap an adult can fall into. Taking sides or imposing differing punishments sets the scene for victims and bullies to be labeled. There should be no exceptions to the rule in most instances. The objective is to remove the challenge from fighting and to remove any responsibility for “winning” or “losing” a battle.

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Don’t Get Discouraged

Reduced fighting among children is a long-term process that will take time. Some children are more prone to squabbling than others. Give kids the structure and skills they need to solve issues, but keep in mind that they are still children. It’s normal to have fights with your siblings when you’re a youngster.

Don’t Pay Attention 

The majority of youngster conflicts are meaningless and end on their own. Adult interaction slows down the process of youngsters figuring things out on their own.

Fighting is a common technique for children to gain attention – and for some children, bad attention is preferable than no attention.

It becomes less of a motivation to argue if grownups ignore it and don’t allow it to take center stage in the house or elsewhere. Declare a distinct room or place in your home as “the fighting room,” for example. When your children or their friends argue, just instruct them to go to the “fight room” and not come out until the problem is resolved.

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